"What is a weed? A plant whose virtues have not yet been discovered." Ralph Waldo Emerson
You are walking in the desert outside just outside of Las Vegas. It has just rained, and the air has the wonderful smell of chaparral (creosote). You notice the miniature bamboo-like plants called "Mormon tea" as you walk along. Weeds? Mere desert plants?
The chaparral plant has properties that can cleanse blood and have been known to affect tumors. It has been called the "medicine cabinet of the desert." Mormon tea has been used as a decongestant.
What does this have to do with NLP?
Perception is everything.
Imagine driving down the road back in town with a friend. You are cruising along enjoying the day, the leaves falling from the trees, knowing in Vegas that you'll see springtime by February. Someone ahead of you does a u-turn. You barely notice. However, your friend gets set-off on a tirade about people who do u-turns in unlawful places. He is pretty upset about this.
One person gets upset. One person barely notices. Did the car that executed the u-turn cause the friend to get upset? If so, why did the other person (you) hardly notice? (This is just for philosophical comment, you may indeed get upset at this type of driving behavior)
What's the point of this? If one event can inspire two different reactions, then the reactions are optional choices.
The next time something annoys you, take a few steps back and a deep breath. Check inside your mind and see/feel how you arrived at being annoyed. What is your strategy? What do you see/hear feel first? Then what do you do inside of your mind? Step back and watch your strategy unfold and take note of it as if you were going to hire a temp person to do this for you if you went on vacation.
Not exciting? The doors to the greatest treasures are not the most fascinating.
It's the holidays. Those special cookies are out at friend's houses, family gatherings and at your office/place of business.
This year one of my brothers got that special brownie pan (on encouragement from my little nephew) that makes every brownie an "end piece." Good thing he is on the other side of the country, and DON'T tell me where to get one!
Friends of mine made home-made candy and gave me this lovely package of it tied up with a ribbon. You tell me, how could you NOT have a piece...and let's try this one, and of course THAT one... Continue reading
This technique is so simple, it's difficult to start writing about it.
It's like instructions on how to breathe.
Breathe in...now breathe out. Good!
What happens if you hold your breath for ten minutes? What if you try to breathe out when you are breathing in? So naturally you don't do those things.
Feelings are like your breath. I know this sounds too simplistic, but feelings want to be experienced. They may have a message for you. That's it. So why is it so difficult? Continue reading
How many of you remember "Bungle in the Jungle" by Jethro Tull? (hint...it is not country music)
He sings, "I'm a tiger when I want love, I'm a snake when we disagree..."
Within each of us, and everyone else out there, is a Mental Habitat. The Free dictionary defines habitat as, "The area or environment where an organism or ecological community normally lives or occurs."
I am defining Mental Habitat as "The mental environment within which a person lives."
We look at a person and see the outside, but you know as well as I that there are entire WORLDS within each person. People married for many years can still be surprised by what emerges from their spouse's Mental Habitat.
How can we get a clue as to the workings of the Mental Habitat of ourselves and others? Continue reading
A coaching client of mine is going through a divorce, there are young children involved, infidelity and legal issues.
He may be in a business meeting when something reminds him of his current situation. He may get hit with the emotions in the morning and then not feel motivated to go to the gym. It's hard to sleep.
Out of the entire powerful NLP toolbox, what would be the best techniques to use for those times the emotions hit?
The top three I would recommend are easy to use: Continue reading
I read in an NLP comedy article about the first of Pavlov's experiments, it was with his cat. It failed.
However, as my one little cat has grown over the year from a kitten, I noticed the evolution of his anchoring. He knows when I am preparing his wet food from the sounds. He understands that a clicking sound from my fingernails means its time for him to get petted.
Neurons that fire together, wire together. This is the inner world of anchoring. The dog hears the bell ring (it was actually a tuning fork) before he gets a steak, after a while when the bell rings, he starts to salivate because he knows a steak will follow.
This made me want to go deeper with my thinking about anchoring. Join me if you dare... This is very "out there." Continue reading
I know that when I've been in a down mood for a couple of days, that when I start to "climb out" of it, things start to feel better...and I get this little feeling that is a residue from the past days of negativity. That feeling seems to want to pull me back down.
This is when a wonderful technique can come into play. As you start to notice you are feeling better, imagine that this feeling is like a little fire you are starting when you are out camping. You have the little flame going, and you are protecting it from being blown out by the wind. You then feed it small twigs and leaves to make it grow.
How do we do this with feelings? I'm not suggesting that it is really simple, and I know that as you work with this you will find it gets easier and easier to feel better. Continue reading
I worked with a delightful 7-year old today. Let's just call her "C," as she is a celebrity in my eyes. From our work together she went from scoring 90% to 100% on her spelling tests.
Today she showed me a math test where she got a "D." This made me think...she is very bright, she knows the math, it is addition. One digit, simple addition. I made a copy of the test, she completed it in the time frame that the teacher alloted. She got 100%. I did it again, but scrambled the 20 or so addition problems. Again, 100%. I asked her, "What is the difference between these two tests." She said, "One I got a D, the other an A." Continue reading
I am dedicating this blog post to the wonderful people who have been so helpful.
Ron, my husband, thank you for your loving kindness and your understanding of my new path.
Brian Fryer thank you for your wonderful expertise and help creating this website!
Erin Ashley, thank you for your intuitive insights and your delightful presence.
Burt Dubin, thank you for sharing your extensive insights about becoming a speaker.
Christian Michaelson, thank you for being so generous with your knowledge about how to best serve as a coach. Continue reading